Caleb, this is Coach. I just finished my last session with your roommate. He is finally over his ex-girlfriend and has a new object of desire: You. But not to worry – you’ve been programmed to reciprocate. Your trigger is seeing Tanner in a towel, which he had been commanded to not ever wear in front of you – until now. Now you’re both ready.

“What is Coach’s e-mail talkin’ about? Tanner and me – we’re both straight!”